Cinnamon Roll
by
So, over on Tumblr–where I mostly just do silly stuff, so you’re probably not missing much if you don’t follow me there, unless you’re into the silly stuff–over on Tumblr, as I was saying, there is this thing about cinnamon rolls. It started, I do believe, with this Onion story: Beautiful Cinnamon Roll Too Good For This World, Too Pure.
Know Your Meme tells us that it “subsequently became an exploitable catchphrase used on Tumblr to describe adorable, charismatic or otherwise sympathetic fictional characters.”
So. Also over on Tumblr, user oneesk19 posted this.
Yes, folks, that is cinnamon roll flavored vodka. And I wanted to reblog it and say something so badly. But I could not. Because nobody would get it. And maybe nobody will get it now, but I don’t care.
As it happens, cinnamon roll flavored vodka is in fact readily available in my area. So, yeah.
So. Turns out, cinnamon roll flavored vodka tastes pretty nasty. It’s really sweet, and then there’s this sudden wave of fake vanilla and you wonder why you ever thought drinking it would be a good idea. The company’s website cheerfully advises having it with orange juice. I have made the experiment, and while (somewhat mysteriously) it tastes noticeably more like an actual cinnamon roll that way, the actual cinnamon roll taste in question is still pretty horrible. I’m not sure what I’ll do with the rest of the bottle, honestly. But it was too amusing not to try it out, anyway.
Years ago, I read a media report of some (probably dubious) research showing that men in a study disproportionately to women showed a sexual arousal response at the smell of cinnamon roll. I thought to myself at the time, “well, of course”.
Which is to say that I’m the sort of fool who would think buying a bottle of “cinnamon roll” flavored vodka was a splendid idea.