So, yesterday I posted about the update to the Ancillary Sword pre-order thing now including access to the first three chapters. Except, I was in a hurry and wrote “Pre Order” instead of “Pre-order” and then this happened:
@ann_leckie I thought that said Ancillary Sword PIE Order Update, and then I was bitterly disappointed when I realized my error.
— John Scalzi (@scalzi) September 24, 2014
To which, of course, I replied,
@scalzi You know now I'm going to have to come up with a recipe.
— Astral Lemur (@ann_leckie) September 24, 2014
And the general consensus was that, yes, I was now legally and morally obligated to do so.
The following is not intended to be that pie recipe. It is mostly for my own reference, and hopefully for your amusement. I take no responsibility for the results if you decide to make any of these yourself.
It turns out that if you plug “tea pie recipe” into Google you get…well, first you get a page and a half of links to various versions of something called “Sweet Tea Pie.” Which apparently involves not only tea and a couple of truckloads of sugar, but also eleven egg yolks and a double boiler. Eleven egg yolks. I’ll just let that sink in a bit.
No, there is no meringue on this pie. What the heck are you supposed to do with eleven egg whites if there’s no meringue on your pie? Huh? And I’ve got to admit, this is kind of an intimidating recipe. (I did once make a lemon meringue pie entirely from scratch just because I wanted to know if I could. Once was enough.)
Here’s a chocolate tea pie recipe, from Lipton. I also ran across an earl grey french silk pie recipe. Hey, I didn’t realize french silk was just chocolate mousse! I am still thinking about how I feel about raw eggs. Even chocolatey ones.
Then there’s this Earl Grey Cream Pie in a Sugar Cookie Crust. I know, right?
But this one pretty much takes the, uh, cake. Bubble Tea Pie with a Fortune Cookie Crust. And for one brief, shining moment it looked like Wes Chu was going to step up and make it and tell us all about it, but his wife vetoed the project. I find this fundamentally unfair. I do not promise to make it myself, even though I do in fact have easy access to the ingredients, but I must confess myself intrigued.
Of course, one might also adapt pie recipes that call for some strongly flavored liquid–like the whiskey pie recipe above–to use tea instead. So, apparently Rum Cream Pie used to be kind of a thing. I am eyeing that recipe with a great deal of interest.
Also, it has just this morning occurred to me that any Ancillary themed pie actually should be a bunch of very small tarts in those adorable tiny fluted tart pans. I do not know if I am quite up for that, but it would be awesome.