Bury the
Dead
by Ann Leckie
It's the first
Thanksgiving since Grandpa died.
This morning Gretchen put the extra leaf in the table, pushed and wiggled
chairs so that it would seat a crowded-on-one-side seven. The new
tablecloth--Gretchen bought it last week without consulting anyone or
anything beyond her own pleasure--is spread, and on it sit silver and the
best china. Trivets wait for mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, and
corn. The turkey is dismembered, keeping warm in the oven. Gretchen is
ready.
Her younger son Peter has arrived, and Gretchen's new daughter-in-law,
Jill. And Jill's daughter, six-year-old Sydney, a small, quiet creature in
a white sailor dress. Sydney had gained Gretchen's immediate sympathy when
she'd come in, looked at the table, and said, I like your pink
tablecloth, even before she'd taken off her coat.
"Have you tried Bill's cell?" asks Jill. They're all hungry, but they
can't start without Gretchen's other son.
"I left a message," Gretchen says. "Would you like a soda, Sydney?" Sydney
has been very good so far, but Gretchen knows that the patience of even
the best six-year-old has limits.
Sydney looks at her mother, who fails to give a forbidding frown. "Yes,
please."
"It's strange to sit down without Grandpa," says Peter--Gretchen's son,
Jill's husband, Sydney's stepfather. "It seems like everything's changed
so much in the past year." He smiles at Jill--they were married six months
ago.
As Gretchen turns towards the kitchen, the front door opens, and her other
daughter-in-law, Diane, comes in. "Hello, running behind, sorry!" Halfway
into the living room, looking through the archway into the dining room,
she stops to shrug off her coat.
"Where's Kimberly?" asks Gretchen.
"She's coming. Hello, Peter. We stopped to pick up Grandpa. You won't
believe the trouble Bill had." The front door opens again, and Bill comes
into the living room, and behind him, shuffling and swaying, comes
Grandpa.
He's been dead ten months. He didn't have much hair when he died, and what
was left has fallen out. His eyesockets are muddy pits and the skin of his
face, neck, and hands is leathery and desiccated, shrunk down to his
bones. His lips are pulled back, revealing clamped, grimy dentures. His
navy blue suit hangs around him in muddy folds.
"I guess they don't call them vaults for nothing!" Bill says cheerily.
"Hey, Peter, Jill." He comes straight through to the dining room and
kisses Gretchen on the cheek. "Happy Thanksgiving, Mom."
Diane goes to the door and takes Grandpa by the elbow, pushes and pulls
the staggering, swaying corpse towards the head of the table. Kimberly,
sixteen, tall like Gretchen, slouches in the door and comes as far as the
archway, where she stands, sullen, coat still on. "You got a pink
tablecloth, Grandma," says Kimberly. "Grandpa hates pink."
"I like pink," Gretchen says. Kimberly has always been sharp, even since
she was a baby. She's probably also noticed that the silver is Gretchen's
own, and not the set Grandpa preferred. Gretchen wishes Kimberly wouldn't
slouch, or let her hair hang down in front of her face all the time. But
she also remembers being sixteen, and so she doesn't say it.
Diane's hand is on the head chair now, her other hand still on Grandpa's
elbow. Now is the time for Gretchen to speak up. She takes a deep breath,
knowing that from here on out there will be no turning back. "There are
only seven places, Diane."
Diane casts a critical eye on the arrangement of chairs. "We could squeeze
another one in."
"That chair's broken," Gretchen says, quite truthfully. It had been
surprisingly easy to snap one of the legs off, once she'd thought to use a
hammer.
Diane frowns slightly--sensing trouble, Gretchen thinks, but not as
perceptive as her daughter. "We could set a children's table," Diane says.
"Nonsense. Kimberly is too old for that, and we can't possibly put Sydney
all by herself."
Diane looks at Sydney for the first time, as though it's only just now
occurred to her who would sit at her proposed children's table, and
frowns.
"We could have a dead person table," suggests Kimberly. She is, she
believes, ugly and awkward, and has recently realized that she will never
be anyone but herself. The thought fills her with despair.
"We could pull his armchair out of the living room," says Bill. "And let
him sit over here. He doesn't need to be right up at the table, it's not
like he's going to eat much."
"He can't eat at all," Kimberly says. "He's dead. And besides, his mouth
is wired shut."
"Kimberly!" says her mother.
"It's true. They take these needles, with wires on the ends, and shoot
them into your jaw, and then they twist them shut. Like a trash bag."
"That's disgusting," says Sydney, with the appreciation of a connoisseur.
At the wedding, Kimberly had worn long, sparkly earrings and red nail
polish, and Sydney had thought her the most glamorous person she'd ever
seen. Now her first impression is confirmed.
Bill laughs, nervously. "He can't carve the turkey, either, so I guess
that's up to me."
"The turkey's mostly cut up already," Gretchen says. "They did it at the
store." Bill blinks, uncomprehending. "I got the whole dinner from the
deli at the store. All I had to do was put it in the oven to keep it
warm."
Diane speaks up, still by the head chair, still holding on to Grandpa.
"Oh, Gretchen, you know I offered to...."
"You have better things to do," says Gretchen. "And so does Jill. And so
do I."
"On Thanksgiving?" Bill is incredulous.
"I just didn't feel like doing all that work this year," Gretchen says.
She's angry now, though from long habit her voice and expression give no
sign of it. No one has moved to fetch Grandpa's chair.
"Well," says Bill, and then takes a breath. "I suppose it's too late to do
anything about it now. Next year..."
"Next year I'll do whatever I please," says Gretchen. "Take your
grandfather back out to the car. I ordered that vault for a reason."
"We can't just leave him in the cemetery. He's been awfully restless
there."
"You dug him up!" Peter accuses.
"He dug himself out the first time," says Diane. Kimberly snorts.
Bill's face reddens. "When Dad left, Grandpa took us in and took care of
us." His voice is tight. "This is his family, his house."
And he never let me forget it for a moment, Gretchen wants to say,
but her anger is bleeding away. Bill is, after all, her son. She knows
he's near tears, knows that he genuinely misses his Grandpa. Knows that
all his life he's expected that one day he would wield that carving knife,
and be Head of the Family. And now nothing is the way he expected it to
be.
But she won't relent. "It's my house," Gretchen says. "And it's our
family." Bill says nothing.
Sydney speaks into the silence. "The salad has oranges in it," she says to
Kimberly, though that's not what she wants to say, not what she means. But
she's hungry. "And there's chocolate pie for dessert."
"Cool," says Kimberly. "Hey, you don't want to eat with Grandpa, do you?"
"Dead people live in the graveyard," says Sydney. And then, with a
thoughtful frown, "Except on Halloween, and Halloween's over."
Kimberly holds her hand out. "Give me five." Sydney goes around the table
and gives her a resounding slap. "Good one!"
"Sydney is a very sensible little girl," says Gretchen. "Peter and Jill,
please get the food out of the oven. It just goes straight onto the table.
Diane, I'd appreciate it if you'd get the salad out of the fridge. I
forgot your soda, Sydney. Do you want cola or rootbeer?"
"Rootbeer, please," says Sydney.
"Can I have rootbeer, Grandma?" asks Kimberly.
"I never got to have soda with dinner," says Bill, trying to sound
light-hearted, and failing.
"You can have some tonight if you like," says Gretchen, unfazed. "Do you
want rootbeer too?"
Bill doesn't answer. Gretchen sends Kimberly and Sydney into the kitchen
for the relish plate, and serving spoons. Sydney, eyeing the olives,
wonders if Kimberly will laugh when she puts some on the ends of her
fingers. Kimberly's approval would be worth a reprimand from her mother.
(Kimberly will laugh, and then, to her own mother's disgust, she'll
put two olives up her nose. At bedtime Sydney will pray devoutly to be
just like Kimberly when she grows up.)
By the time dinner is on the table Bill has led Grandpa out. He's not
far--in the car, likely--because Bill isn't gone long. But he's not in the
house anymore.
"Who's going to say grace?" asks Diane when they're all seated, trying to
salve Bill's pride, likely.
Gretchen opens her mouth to answer, but "Grace!" say Kimberly and Sydney
together, and Sydney giggles.
Gretchen says amen.